My youngest son Isaiah reminds me of Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks. Remember how Dave use to shout out Alvin’s name and that was the highlight of the show…yeah, that’s me! Today for example I called Isaiah’s name at least 3x at the top of my lungs until my voice cracked.
So before I go into what happened on today’s show of “Isaiah and the Chipmunks,” here’s the background on my wonderful son. Isaiah is 13, in the 7th grade and he’s 6’2. Which means he literally hovers over everyone else his age. He reads on a 12th grade level and has an 11th grade math and science understanding. He’s in all honors and Pre-AP classes and his teachers have described him as extremely intelligent and very much ahead of his peers. Which makes me wonder how someone so smart can do such dumb things…often!
This episode would be called
“Are You Trying to Burn Down the House?”
Isaiah: Can I have a snack?
Me: Yeah, there’s some easy mac & cheese in the pantry. You only need one!
3 minutes later.
Me to AJ: What’s burning? Where’s Isaiah? ISAIAHHHH!!!!
He comes running upstairs.
AJ: Isaiah, dude, you didn’t put any water in there! You burnt the noodles!
(AJ proceeds to run water over the plastic container that is now smoking and scorched to a crisp!)
Me: Really Isaiah!
Me: Why do I smell smoke? (running frantically around the kitchen and living room) Something’s burning! (shouting) What’s burning? What’s burning?
Cameron: (very casually) Oh, Isaiah put the teenage mutant ninja turtle blanket on top the lamp and it caught on fire! But don’t worry, Mom, it’s just a small hole! You want me to throw it away?”
Me: ISAIAHHHH!!!!!! (he comes running upstairs) Why in the hell did you put a blanket on top of the lamp? (I don’t normally curse)
Isaiah: Uhhhh (blank stare) But Mom, we can still use it! (holding up the blanket that now has a hole the size of a basketball in the center of it!)
Me: (very calmly) Isaiah, throw that thing away and sit here and read a book! Don’t do anything else!
I’m in the office and I hear several loud pops, like balloons popping.
Me: What is that? What are yall doing in here?
Kahlil: Isaiah’s popping popcorn!
Me: ISAIAHHHHH!!!! (he comes running upstairs) First of all, I told you to sit here and read a book! (he’s stuttering about having to go downstairs for something) Why are you popping popcorn when I said dinner would be ready in 20 minutes?
Isaiah: I’m hungry!
I opened the microwave to see the popcorn bag charred black.
Me: What did you do?
Isaiah: After I started eating it, I realized all the popcorn didn’t pop, so I put it back in there!
Me: (Calmly, because if I shout, I’m going to strangle him!) So you’re re-popping the kernels after you already opened the bag and started eating it?
Isaiah: Yeah, you said to stop wasting food! (is he really trying to be sarcastic right now?)
Me: GO TO BED!! (I’m shouting like a crazy woman, following him downstairs to his room) Are you serious? First you burn the mac and cheese, then you damn near start a fire with that blanket, now you re-popping popcorn? Don’t touch nothing! I mean nothing! You wait here until I call you upstairs. You gotta be kidding me! Are you trying to burn the house down?
Dinner is ready, I’m setting the table and Isaiah is still in the bed. My husband walks in and I brief him on Isaiah’s “Alvin-Mishaps.” He goes and gives Isaiah the typical “Dave-to-Alvin” conversation of thinking before acting, making good decisions and that of course we love him even when he does dumb stuff. Isaiah comes upstairs and apologizes to me for being so stupid but so smart and of course for almost burning down the house!
All seven of us are sitting around the table laughing about how dumb this all was! The common question, “Dude, what were you thinking?” The short of it, he wasn’t!! Isaiah is definitely my son who, once he’s older, mature and successful, I’ll sit back and say, “Boy I almost didn’t think you were gonna make it!”
My prayer at the end of it all: Psalms 91! Praise God that He keeps us from seen and unseen dangers and that none of these mishaps were worse.