Warning: Teenage Boys Ahead

Teenage boys are full of energy!! They are not for the faint of heart! They are loud, dirty, spontaneous, animated and smelly!

Here are 12 Things I’ve Learned to “Just Get Used To” with Having Four Teenage Sons!

 1. Teenage boys are like piranhas with tapeworms. In a matter of seconds, they will devour anything that’s edible and are never full! They just eat and eat and eat and eat! I easily go through eighteen eggs per serving, four loaves of bread a day, two jars of peanut butter every other day and at least six gallons of milk a week. I swear I live at Sam’s & Costco…in fact they know me by name!! They see all of us walk in, grabbing two carts and a flatbed and yell, “Hi Overton Family!!”

2.I’m convinced my boys like teasing me into thinking I have something when in fact I don’t. I go to the pantry and see the box of granola bars only to reach for one and discover the box is in fact empty. All those cereal boxes on the top shelf…empty! That last gallon of milk, sitting front and center in the fridge, empty! That jar of peanut butter, not even a spoonful left! And my biggest pet peeve is when I grab a pack of ramen noodles (yes I eat them too!) only to find they’ve all been robbed of their spice packet!! A whole box of ramen noodle, all opened and borderline stale now, and not one single spice packet?! Really…who does that?!

3. Life is really one big contest! Who’s the fastest, who can call “shotgun” first, who is better at playing Madden football, who can dunk the best, who can dance the best, who can come up with the tightest rap, who can draw the best, who can swim the fastest…all just one big competition!

4. I have stopped buying nice things because on a daily basis random things will be broken. Imagine four boys, all 6’2, weighing between 160-225lbs (so essentially grown men) horse-playing around! The body slamming, flipping, punching, shoving back and forth, couch jumping doesn’t bother me as much…it’s the “Somebody/Nobody” philosophy they take when something does get broken that irks the heck out of me. Somebody did it, but Nobody knows who. It’s like really, I heard a commotion, I heard it break, who broke it? Then silence…shoulder shrugs….and my lecture begins.

5. What is That Smell? Their armpits, clothes, bedrooms, bathrooms all smell like a musty locker room mixed with fried fish and onions…and that’s an understatement. And it’s not like I don’t spend countless hours washing clothes, cleaning and disinfecting anything they touch either. It’s like the smell is saturated in them…it doesn’t come off! It literally leaves a stench as they walk by and stains my SUV seats.

6. In combination with #5, I search Pinterest & Google daily on what to do to absorb the sour, wet trash can smell of their feet. I tease them often that mushrooms are going to grow between their toes. I mean it is really unnatural how bad their feet and shoes smell. We’ve done vinegar and baking soda soaks, baby powder, shoe odor balls, medicated cream…nothing works. I almost need to keep trying to find a solution, then patent it so I can become a famous multi-million-dollar Mom like the owner of Build-A-Bear! (Hmmm, let me research that a little more! I might be on to something!)

7. What is That Smell? Part 2! On the days they do try to smell clean, it’s an overkill of various scents that instantly give you a headache and heartburn. -Ocean water scented shower gel, mixed with Dove Men’s Shampoo, mixed with Degree Sport scented deodorant, mixed with Axe Musk body spray, mixed with whatever cologne sample their Dad has given them….?! Gag! Too Much! I walk by them coughing and sneezing!

8. Beware of Bathroom! At one point, I thought about holding a “this is how you pee – aim at the Cheerio – in the water” training session. Similar to what we did when they were potty-training as toddlers! But then I just threw in the towel and said, “You know what, you clean up your own biohazard zone!” Every day, like a drill sergeant I stood over them and made sure they cleaned it, like I clean it! Guess they got tired of my intimidation because all of a sudden, toothpaste crud wasn’t stuck in the sink, hair gel slime didn’t overtake the counters and the floor around the toilet wasn’t infuse with pee! Cleanliness is next to Godliness! (Don’t get me wrong, I still use caution entering their bathrooms because sometimes ‘somebody/nobody’ leaves unflushed surprises!)

9. Things disappear often and change often. A few weeks ago, I bought three twelve packs of Nike socks (total of 36 socks) and 16 Nike t-shirts. Yesterday, we could only find 19 socks and 5 of them had holes & 6 of the shirts were now missing sleeves! What happened to the socks I just bought?! “The dog at them!” “I left them in my football locker!” “I don’t know how that hole got there!” REALLY? And as far as the brand new shirts, well they thought they’d look cooler if they cut the sleeves off! (Mind you, not a smooth seam cut either, it’s more like an Incredible Hulk zigzag chop!) Not to mention, one of the Jordan shirts (and you know Jordan anything is not cheap!) has a bleach stain on the front of it!!

10. Private Parts, well they aren’t really private and periodically need scratching … let’s just say now they are required to be scratched in the hallway or the bathroom. Stop digging and adjusting yourself front of me! GROSS! (Go Wash Your Hands AND USE SOAP!!)

11. Delayed understanding and hearing is common. Example: ME: “Go do this and that! Got it? TEENAGE SON: “Yes Mom, I understand!” Five minutes later, “Wait, what did you want me to do again?” OR they do something completely opposite of what you asked. My oldest are almost 16…so I’m not quite certain when this phase will end.

12. They need hugs…daily, sometimes twice a day…even if they don’t want it! Boys love their Mothers, there’s no doubt about that. No matter how tall they stand over me or how dumb they act, they still need reassurance, especially during their teenage years. I hug, tickle and/or cuddle up next to each of mine at least once a day. Any kind of affection is better than no affection!

 Are you a Mom of Boys? What are some things you’ve learned to just get used to?

Psalm 127:3  (TLB)  Children are a gift from God; they are his reward.

Author: One More Than Six

Welcome to my Happy, Loud, Crazy, Fun, Loving Blog! I am a Wife & Mom to Four Teenage Boys & a Little Princess. My life is full of adventures, misadventures, chaos and just plain busyness! There's never a dull moment! So follow me as I navigate through this uncharted course of motherhood! It’s definitely going to be entertaining! Believe me, with five children, I’ve got plenty of stories to tell! XOXO

4 thoughts

  1. Solutions

    1. Call them into the kitchen with the words, “Guys! Fresh chocolate chip cookies!” When they get there and see all the ingredients for the cookies, the equipment necessary, and a recipe laid out on the counter, add “Some assembly required,” and then walk out. Work up to pot roast. Their future wives will thank you. Mention that while you chew their cookies.

    2. When it’s allowance time, hand them empty envelopes. Read them a haiku about the empty milk jug. Tell them you’ll deduct ten percent from everybody’s total each week for each empty container you find not in the trash and not added to the shopping list. Tell them you’ll reevaluate at the end of next week.

    3. Post a scoreboard on the fridge tracking who did what without asking, who helped you without being bidden, who improved their test score in history, who did something nice for a stranger, who stuck up for their brother when he needed somebody, etc. Pay out allowance accordingly. You’ll see competition of a new kind emerge, but remind them that the 10% Empties Tax still applies.

    4. Replace the Nice Things Lecture with a You Destroy One of Mine, I Destroy One of Yours Declarations and start removing a video game at a time.

    5. Just spray all their laundry and personal items with girl’s perfume. Tell them to either keep it clean or they will go through life smelling like a Disney princess.

    6. Fill a spray bottle with straight ethyl alcohol and tell them to spray everything not moving fast enough. Let them know about the little girl’s perfume back-up plan.

    7. The Axe Body spray must go. This is non-negotiable.

    8. Well done, carry on.

    9. Invoke the little girl’s perfume fear by promising replacements in hot pink and lavender only.

    10. Damned straight.

    11. Male hearing is uncommonly acute whenever anything they want is calling them, deafness only prevails when unwanted tasks are asked. I assume you are or have been married….

    12. They will complain bitterly about this occasionally but secretly, it is keeping them alive through adolescent hell. Carry on. Call them handsome in front of people, too, to see how fast the blush comes on. It’s your right.

    Good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s