Teenage boys are full of energy!! They are not for the faint of heart! They are loud, dirty, spontaneous, animated and smelly!
Here are 12 Things I’ve Learned to “Just Get Used To” with Having Four Teenage Sons!
1. Teenage boys are like piranhas with tapeworms. In a matter of seconds, they will devour anything that’s edible and are never full! They just eat and eat and eat and eat! I easily go through eighteen eggs per serving, four loaves of bread a day, two jars of peanut butter every other day and at least six gallons of milk a week. I swear I live at Sam’s & Costco…in fact they know me by name!! They see all of us walk in, grabbing two carts and a flatbed and yell, “Hi Overton Family!!”
2.I’m convinced my boys like teasing me into thinking I have something when in fact I don’t. I go to the pantry and see the box of granola bars only to reach for one and discover the box is in fact empty. All those cereal boxes on the top shelf…empty! That last gallon of milk, sitting front and center in the fridge, empty! That jar of peanut butter, not even a spoonful left! And my biggest pet peeve is when I grab a pack of ramen noodles (yes I eat them too!) only to find they’ve all been robbed of their spice packet!! A whole box of ramen noodle, all opened and borderline stale now, and not one single spice packet?! Really…who does that?!
3. Life is really one big contest! Who’s the fastest, who can call “shotgun” first, who is better at playing Madden football, who can dunk the best, who can dance the best, who can come up with the tightest rap, who can draw the best, who can swim the fastest…all just one big competition!
4. I have stopped buying nice things because on a daily basis random things will be broken. Imagine four boys, all 6’2, weighing between 160-225lbs (so essentially grown men) horse-playing around! The body slamming, flipping, punching, shoving back and forth, couch jumping doesn’t bother me as much…it’s the “Somebody/Nobody” philosophy they take when something does get broken that irks the heck out of me. Somebody did it, but Nobody knows who. It’s like really, I heard a commotion, I heard it break, who broke it? Then silence…shoulder shrugs….and my lecture begins.
5. What is That Smell? Their armpits, clothes, bedrooms, bathrooms all smell like a musty locker room mixed with fried fish and onions…and that’s an understatement. And it’s not like I don’t spend countless hours washing clothes, cleaning and disinfecting anything they touch either. It’s like the smell is saturated in them…it doesn’t come off! It literally leaves a stench as they walk by and stains my SUV seats.
6. In combination with #5, I search Pinterest & Google daily on what to do to absorb the sour, wet trash can smell of their feet. I tease them often that mushrooms are going to grow between their toes. I mean it is really unnatural how bad their feet and shoes smell. We’ve done vinegar and baking soda soaks, baby powder, shoe odor balls, medicated cream…nothing works. I almost need to keep trying to find a solution, then patent it so I can become a famous multi-million-dollar Mom like the owner of Build-A-Bear! (Hmmm, let me research that a little more! I might be on to something!)
7. What is That Smell? Part 2! On the days they do try to smell clean, it’s an overkill of various scents that instantly give you a headache and heartburn. -Ocean water scented shower gel, mixed with Dove Men’s Shampoo, mixed with Degree Sport scented deodorant, mixed with Axe Musk body spray, mixed with whatever cologne sample their Dad has given them….?! Gag! Too Much! I walk by them coughing and sneezing!
8. Beware of Bathroom! At one point, I thought about holding a “this is how you pee – aim at the Cheerio – in the water” training session. Similar to what we did when they were potty-training as toddlers! But then I just threw in the towel and said, “You know what, you clean up your own biohazard zone!” Every day, like a drill sergeant I stood over them and made sure they cleaned it, like I clean it! Guess they got tired of my intimidation because all of a sudden, toothpaste crud wasn’t stuck in the sink, hair gel slime didn’t overtake the counters and the floor around the toilet wasn’t infuse with pee! Cleanliness is next to Godliness! (Don’t get me wrong, I still use caution entering their bathrooms because sometimes ‘somebody/nobody’ leaves unflushed surprises!)
9. Things disappear often and change often. A few weeks ago, I bought three twelve packs of Nike socks (total of 36 socks) and 16 Nike t-shirts. Yesterday, we could only find 19 socks and 5 of them had holes & 6 of the shirts were now missing sleeves! What happened to the socks I just bought?! “The dog at them!” “I left them in my football locker!” “I don’t know how that hole got there!” REALLY? And as far as the brand new shirts, well they thought they’d look cooler if they cut the sleeves off! (Mind you, not a smooth seam cut either, it’s more like an Incredible Hulk zigzag chop!) Not to mention, one of the Jordan shirts (and you know Jordan anything is not cheap!) has a bleach stain on the front of it!!
10. Private Parts, well they aren’t really private and periodically need scratching … let’s just say now they are required to be scratched in the hallway or the bathroom. Stop digging and adjusting yourself front of me! GROSS! (Go Wash Your Hands AND USE SOAP!!)
11. Delayed understanding and hearing is common. Example: ME: “Go do this and that! Got it? TEENAGE SON: “Yes Mom, I understand!” Five minutes later, “Wait, what did you want me to do again?” OR they do something completely opposite of what you asked. My oldest are almost 16…so I’m not quite certain when this phase will end.
12. They need hugs…daily, sometimes twice a day…even if they don’t want it! Boys love their Mothers, there’s no doubt about that. No matter how tall they stand over me or how dumb they act, they still need reassurance, especially during their teenage years. I hug, tickle and/or cuddle up next to each of mine at least once a day. Any kind of affection is better than no affection!
Are you a Mom of Boys? What are some things you’ve learned to just get used to?
Psalm 127:3 (TLB) Children are a gift from God; they are his reward.