My son Cameron is goofy! And I mean that in the most loving way possible. I swear this kid is clueless sometimes. I’m wondering if he and Isaiah have switched places…. remember my post “Isaiah!!!”? Yeah, well instead of Alvin & the Chipmunk moments, he’s been having a bunch of “Cameron, are you serious right now?” reactions from me & his twin brother Kahlil. So here are two “it’s funny now, but wasn’t funny then” rundowns of his goofy, clueless thinking…
Cameron is OCD about keeping his shoes clean. I mean this boy will bleach and toothbrush scrub his tennis shoes every hour if I let him. The problem with this is, we’re talking about a teenage boy with bleach!! Most times he bleaches them in the laundry room sink, which makes me less paranoid about mishaps because I figure at least it’s contained & in the sink. However, last week for whatever reason he decided to clean his shoes upstairs. In His Bedroom. With Carpet. And of course, what happened…he bleached my carpet! Our conversation, and I am NOT making this up, went as follows:
Me: Cameron how did you bleach the carpet?
Cameron: I bleached my shoe strings, then laid them on the carpet where the sun shines in so they could dry. But they were already sort of dry so I don’t know how they turned the carpet white!
Me: Cameron, why were you upstairs anyway? And why didn’t you just take them outside to dry? How big is the spot? (As I run upstairs to see the damage! Which is the size of a football!) (See exhibit A. LOL!)
Cameron: It’s not that big. But I was thinking…we could just recolor the carpet by pouring honey on it! Cause the carpet is the same color as the honey! Or pour some soda on it…you know, that Coke in the fridge is brown. Well it’s almost the same color.
Me: Cameron, are you being serious right now? (I chuckle, because I sincerely hope he’s joking!)
Cameron: Yeah!! (with an absolute straight face!) It’s small enough, we could just pour the honey on it and it’ll blend right in!
Me: (I punch him as hard as I can in his arm, which obviously isn’t that hard because he barely moves!)
Cameron: What!? (absolutely clueless!)
Me: Cameron. Isn’t honey sticky? Why would we pour any of that on the carpet? What happens when the sugar ants come?
Cameron: It probably won’t be sticky after it dries. Mom, no ants are coming in my room!
Kahlil: (Shaking his head side to side) Dude, that’s just dumb!
Cameron: (with an attitude) Kahlil… just shut up!
Me: Go text a picture of it & ask Dad what he thinks about you not only bleaching the carpet, but pouring honey or soda on it!
When the boys were all about 8 years old & under, I didn’t think they were mature enough to chew gum because I kept finding it in the car melted on the seats & carpet, stuck on the sides of their bunkbeds, on the bathroom sink…just random places, so I was like, that’s it, no more! About a year after that, I gave in and let them start chewing it again, figuring they were old enough to handle it. Well Cameron recently ruined it for everyone! I have officially & indefinitely banned gum chewing in the car and in the house! If they want to chew gum, they’ll have to do it over a friend’s house or at school, but not near me or anything I own!
See Exhibit B. Yes, that would be gum stuck under the car window button! To clarify, according to Cameron as he’s reading this over my shoulder!, it’s Extra Smooth Mint Gum! (I swear this boy thinks everything is funny!) At first Cameron was sitting in the front seat, then Kahlil called “shotgun”, so Cameron had to move to the back. (Yes they are almost 16 & still shouting out shotgun!) Anyway, after Cameron realized he left it there, he tried to sneak & ask Kahlil to get it before I noticed. When will these boys realize, I SEE EVERYTHING!! (I mean I guess it’s kind of cool his brother was trying to help him not get in trouble! LOL!)
Me: Cameron why in the world would you stick gum in there?
Cameron: Cause I was gonna finish chewing it after I finished my slushie!
Me: And it didn’t make sense to just stick it inside your cup or on the lid? Or to throw it away and get another piece?
Cameron: But Mom, I was gonna finish chewing it!
Me: Cameron! Do you know how many hands have touched that window button? How disgusting that is? Why would you want to put that back in your mouth? You could’ve just stuck it in the cup!
Cameron: Mom, it’s not that big of a deal! I was gonna eat it after I finished, but I forgot. Why would I put it inside my cup?
Me: Are you serious right now? Cameron? Really?
Cameron shrugs & I look at Kahlil, his twin because surely they have a telepathy thing going on.
Kahlil: (shakes his head side to side and smirks) Mom, I don’t know… Cameron is just…. (He can’t even find a word!)
Me: (with a deep sigh) Cameron, Cameron, Cameron!
I told yall, I can’t make this stuff up! LOL!! Cameron, like Isaiah, keep us entertained!
Psalm 133:1 (TLB) How wonderful it is, how pleasant, when brothers live in harmony!
Here’s another Cameron moment from my Facebook page a while ago!