Last night, my husband took me to see the movie Bad Moms for my birthday. He didn’t have a clue what it was about, but once he saw the theater full of women, he knew he was in for it! He gave me that look and said, “Nicole are you serious? How girlie is this girlie movie?” I laughed, pointed at the other two men and replied, “Look, you’re not the only reluctant male in here! You’ll be fine!” Thank God it was my birthday otherwise he might have walked out because he literally fidgeted the whole time! LOL!!
After watching that movie, I learned three things about myself:
(1) If I stop catering to my kids every need, they may actually learn something! I allow my boys to do a lot of things on their own, but I have a tendency of standing over them, coaching them along the way. For example, the other day my husband & I had an appointment. I was running late (as usual) and didn’t finish making spaghetti for dinner. The ground beef was done and set aside with the sauce, but it seemed like it was taking the water forever to boil. Cameron was beside me and the whole time I was telling him what to do, step by step. My husband was like, come on bae, I’m sure the boys can figure it out. Although hesitant, I thought to myself, when I was 16, I was cooking, so they’ll be fine. Long story short, the water boiled, I dumped the noodles in, told Cameron, it’d be ready in 15 mins and we left. Thirty minutes later, I texted him to make sure all was fine as my husband gave me that other look, like ‘stop babying them’….but what can I say, I’m a Mom. Kahlil texted me back saying the spaghetti was soupy. WHAT? Then it dawned on me, Cameron didn’t drain the water!! I felt bad. I got to thinking about them having stomachaches, not eating right, the whole nine. But when I got home, Cameron laughed and said, “Well now we know I was supposed to drain the water!” Everyone else laughed about how nasty it was, but they were “just fine.” I did all that stressing for nothing…and by doing it themselves, they all learned something!
(2) It is Ok to say NO! My kids are spread out over three schools and I am the Volunteer Queen at each of them. I sign up for everything!!!– Football Booster Club, Basketball Booster Club, Track Club, Student Union, Copy Room, Library, Bookstore, Red Ribbon Week, Spirit Week, Scholastic Book Fair, you name it, I’m on the list. –This year, however, I won’t be doing any of it! And I refuse to feel bad about it. If I’m really honest with myself, when I look back, it seems like other more important things were neglected because I was always at the school volunteering. I remember some days I would drop the kids off around 8am and after going from one school to the next every two hours, by the time I was finish volunteering, school was over, kids were on the way home and I hadn’t gotten anything done. I’d come home to a sink full of dirty dishes, a laundry room overflowing with dirty clothes, in a rush to prepare dinner, and frustrated about how much time I didn’t have. So this year when they pass that sign-up sheet around, I’ll kindly keep passing it!
(3) Stop Comparing Myself! I don’t really compare myself to other Moms of boys, but I certainly do to Moms of daughters. After having four boys, I feel pretty confident about how I’m raising them. With Taylor, not so much. SHE’S A GIRL!!! I hear other Moms of daughters talk about baking cupcakes, playing with dolls, making headbands and all that girlie stuff and I think dang, I don’t do any of that with Taylor. But mainly because even when I ask Taylor if she wants to, she’s like, ‘nope, I wanna play football or race my cars.’ She’s such a tomboy! As I’m learning to not compare myself to other Moms of daughters, I’m also learning that not all daughters are girlie girls. Some, like mine, would rather dig for worms than bake cupcakes and wear a pair of Jordan’s than sparkly sandals. And I’m good with that!
There’s so much pressure on parents today to be perfect. What I liked most about “Bad Moms” is that it encourages us to cut ourselves some slack. (Even though I disagree with the movie in how much slack and what kind of slack it wants us to cut.) But, the end (which had me in tears), reaffirmed to me that my kids love me unconditionally no matter what. And as evident by the birthday cards I got from each of them yesterday, I am the “Best Mom in the World,” and when your birthday comes around, your card will say that too!